Maddenation
Inspirations/Ruminations
this is my comment to the neil peart/inspirations stuff posted a bit below. i decided to turn it into a posting.
i’ll start from the top:
i just heard on the radio an interview with the singer/guitarist from the band “less than jake” (i think) and he says he doesn’t ever record his dabbles on the guitar. “if i don’t remember it, it’s not worth remembering.” i was like, WUTT?! i write down everything. i have always been told to write down everything. i have even recorded stuff on guitar so as not to forget it. can someone actually think how that guy thinks? and does it work? if he did record stuff outside of the studio, would they be better? what do YOU think? would he burn his guitar or go home and play more after hearing hendrix?
because i’m graduating, i’ve devoted a lot of thought to jobs and inspiration and “destiny” and a whole bunch more bunk. “do what is in your heart.” come on, now. of course i, with a degree from notre dame, can say that. but what about most people in the world. what about arsenio, who can barely read? what’s he going to do when he grows up? certainly the advice i give him is not “follow your heart”. i’m really struggling with this, being able to do most things with my life (when you consider everything, you know). like, how many REALLY poor people commit their lives to service? how many are allowed? maybe by getting a job at the car wash down the street (like rick, arsenio’s stepdad) is service. after all, he’s helping his family, a poor one.
i can’t say exactly how i feel about service, but i’m beginning to get a bit fed up with all the programs bugging me about it. maybe not so much the programs, but all the people “doing service” after graduation. it seems like most just want to check it off their “to do” list or something. if i’m going to do service, i don’t necessarily want to be involved in a program. i talked to dave the other day about me getting a teaching job in chicago so i can live with him. he emailed some lady to get me some info. she sends out an email to 400 people saying that i’m looking for a service program in chicago, etc. within an hour i have 6 emails, within 2 days i have 20. i appreciated what dave did for me, and maybe i wasn’t totally clear, but a service program was not what i was looking for. i just wanted to see if there is a school that needed a teacher. that’s it. i was interested in being a teacher. dave did get back to me with some info on schools, which i appreciated much more than the service programs that for some reason seem to want to feed on my flesh or something. maybe they want me to live in their community and i could add to their group discussions about faith and other stuff, and maybe they have americorps money to shell out, but right now i do not want to do that. i want to live with my brother. i believe that i could be fulfilled in the right service program and be enriched by living among others and i probably could deepen my faith by doing so, but i also know that i have done that before, lived away from home for 4 years, have had uncountable conversations with friends about that sort of stuff, but right now is not the time. i want to live with my brother.
i have sort of made a decision for the near future. i want to get a graphic design job in chicago. here’s why: because dad told me that the experience of a real job in the real world, learning to problem-solve outside of classwork can’t hurt if i decide to teach in the future. he said that teaching now mostly likely won’t help me get a job in design.
i also feel that i need to make strides in my maturity—my responsibility mostly, before i feel comfortable teaching. i think that by becoming a designer first (and maybe only and forever) i will increase my skill as a designer and critical thinker, be forced to become more responsible without jeopardizing children’s lives (haha), and create more opportunities/ability to do other jobs. so that’s where i am at now. crap. i’m going to post this.
Dan • Observations • 05/14/03 • 4 comments
Comments
Al • 05/14/03 • 11:14 PM:Dan, I hope you use your wit to create something positive in the world. You’ve already made a difference in a few (ok, many) people’s lives, and whatever you chose, I know you will continue to do so. And who’s to say that you can’t use design as a means of teaching more people than you could reach in a single classroom?
Dan • 05/15/03 • 1:46 AM:al, precisely the point i have yet to make. good job. i think that “making a difference in the world” thing deserves a lot more time and consideration and such.
(for those who don’t know al, which is all of you, she is in all my design classes and is one of the only people outside of you guys who has seen me freak out about something. in this case, jobs and after college)
i will quote al’s follow-up email to me:
her opening line about wit and such is a semi-joking comment i made to her. we joke around with that line a lot.
David • 05/15/03 • 3:45 PM:Dan,
I’m certainly no expert or philosopher just a man trying to live - day by day. I too want to live with my brother. Can’t wait.
Much of what you said is true, I feel, but some still needs more thought and experience. Not all motives for service are sour. Some might be. Just so you know (and I completely understand you not wanting to be in a program and being alarmed at the huge email volume from Jen) but I recommended that stuff knowing that first year teaching is extremely challenging, especially with no education background. I was just recommending some extra structure/education to go along with that possible choice. That being said, I like your idea of choosing design. I think that’s the right path. I think you’re doing a good job of exploring your own thoughts.
Be mindful (young padiwan) is my advice to you. Monitor your thoughts and the moods connected to them in relation to your job search, or more precisely, your future search. Here’s a prayer I like from Thomas Merton. You might find it useful.
My Lord God,
I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me
Nor do I really know myself,
And the fact that I think I am following your will
Does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you
Does in fact please you.
And I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this,
You will lead me by the right road
Though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though,
I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
And you will never leave me to face my struggles alone.
See how it moves you. I’ve liked it at times.
My last fragmented thought is on your comments above. “Making a difference in the world” is to me so abstract and difficult to understand, comprehend, and even harder to do, and most likely impossible to know for yourself (even when others tell you). I’m sure there are great quotes and writings on the subject. I can’t think of any right now, so I will have to do. The most fundamental way to ‘make a difference in the world’ is through yourself. I believe this is in the Gospels too. It’s similar to loving God. I used to wonder and still do, HOW can you love God, isn’t that too abstract and distant? Then I read some stuff (while at Notre Dame) by Catherine Mowry Lacugna who said something like ‘We are most fully human when we praise God, for this is the purpose for which we were made. Because everything that promotes fullness of humanity, building relationships based on love and compassion truly glorifies God. Thus, living in right relationship – in communion with self, God and others – is a glorification of God.’ I take that to mean that to know and love and serve God is to do the same to your neighbor (see the Gospels for the answer to your question, “who is my neighbor?”). And to be able to love your neighbor and make a difference in the world, you must know yourself and do what is right for you – living in right relationship with yourself first. Maybe there’s a somewhat selfish twist in their with a mix of old clichés (you must love yourself before you can love another). But I think it’s true. What I’m struggling to say is that rather than having a distant abstract goal of making a difference, perhaps we should focus, more self-servingly on ourselves and our own well-being – careful, again, to be mindful of what is truly in our best interest. I refer all of us to the greatest, most practical self-help/improvement guide around – the Bible.
Love, david
ps. Neil Peart (also my idol) wrote, in “Losing It”:
Some are born to move the world —
To live their fantasies
But most of us just dream about
The things we’d like to be
I have always loved the song and it’s haunting, somewhat motivating lyrics. Danny, don’t just dream.
Patrick • 05/16/03 • 12:11 PM:To deal with one of your first comments, I have heard of people who don’t write things down, figuring that if it’s important enough they’ll remember it. I even tried to do that with notes in classes during graduate school (also because I didn’t like taking notes or going over them, and because in English, you do a lot of new thinking instead of regurgitating). It worked okay for me, but that was with classes, not with ideas for essays and things. I think it sounds “cool” not to write (or record) anything down, so that may be a way of bragging. Who knows? If he really does it, then maybe he has a better memory than I do. Maybe he never forgets important things. The evidence I have is that I forget important things fairly often, so I want to help my memory out by writing things down. It works pretty well for me. Of course, I don’t know what might work better.
Regarding service, I think the best thing you can do is look for opportunities all the time. That doesn’t mean you should give up your interests and become a super hero. Maybe organized service opportunities are one good way. Especially in today’s world where people question your motives if you don’t have an official “service person” card to show them. The problems with those people who were born with less (money, intelligence, beauty, etc.) is one you cannot fix, but you can work to alleviate it. There is a strange dance between society and the individual, each vying for rights or blame, but you’ve only got you to work with. I think, for one thing, that if each person were to take responsibility for his own actions, try to make the best of things, no matter where he started out or what impediments have hampered him throughout his life, we’d all be better off. It is doubly crippling to cook up an atmosphere of victimhood, because then people await some external change to lift them up. Maybe it comes sometimes. Maybe it should come. I’m not saying that people aren’t exploited or beaten down unfairly. But if they stay down, just pointing the finger, crying “foul,” they’re taking the wrong approach. Of course, this is something each person must learn on his own. It’s not something a privileged man like you or I should tell those less fortunate (unless in very charitable terms). Of course there is also the unavoidable problem of equilibrium, or something. If you get into Notre Dame, get that great opportunity, then somebody else doesn’t. If you eat that hamburger, then somebody else doesn’t. It’s not so easy or cut and dried, but it’s there.
One last comment, back to the beginning: Eric Clapton may have burned one of his guitars after he heard Hendrix, but he didn’t burn all of them. He kept playing and improving (albeit in a different direction from Hendrix), and he’s ended up outlasting Hendrix by quite a bit.
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