Maddenation
Utilitarian Ethics
I’m trying to get Dan to get a job at Coudal Associates, a design company in Chicago where works one Kevin Guilfoile, a Notre Dame graduate who wrote a humorous “scrapbook” about George W. Bush’s first year as president called My First Presidentiary. Anyway, Dan found me a few of Guilfoile’s humor pieces online, including a series of advice columns from The Utilitarian Ethicist. They’re mighty good. Read them. I think I am going to try to answer one of the questions he answers (in another piece, not the one linked above), just as a writing exercise. Anybody want to join me?
Dear Utilitarian Ethicist,
The other morning I woke up, went to the bathroom and turned on the light. Across the room I saw a little mouse. I figured if I walked into the room it would run and then I would have to set a trap to catch it. Instead, I threw a towel at it and stepped on it. I lifted the towel to find it sort of spread eagle on the floor. I picked it up and put it in the toilet and flushed it. I saw its legs paddling as it spun away. Do you think it is still alive?
OR
Dear Utilitarian Ethicist,
Just last week, I was visiting a friend who’s doing grad work at Princeton. Well, my friend and I went out on a bar crawl. I dropped him off and was driving home when I heard two loud bumps. I’d run over an Australian ethics professor. No one saw me. I’ll never drink and drive again, but should I turn myself in? I’ve learned my lesson, and it wouldn’t serve society any by punishing me. Yet I still feel guilty. What should I do?
Patrick • Recommendations • 07/07/03 • 2 comments
Comments
Dad • 07/07/03 • 11:06 PM:As to whether or not the mouse is still alive, it depends on what the meaning of “is” is. For that matter, it also depends on what you mean by “alive.” As for me, I think the really important question is what direction was the mouse spinning as it went down the drain?
Did you know that Australia was once a prison colony?
Dan • 11/26/03 • 12:01 AM:How are your responses coming along, Pat?
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