Maddenation
Ouch (Six Nails in Head)
I’ve just read some crazy story about a construction worker who had six nails driven into his skull and neck (from a nail gun) and lived to tell the tale (what he remembers of it). Holy moley, that must have hurt. Check out the news video (hurry; I don’t know how to link to it permanently, just to the “current” page). And, since I’m required by law to point out such things, check out the dangling modifiers in the newscaster’s story: “Riddled with nails, doctors didn’t know if they could save him.” (Well, if the doctors were also riddled with nails, it’s no wonder they had difficulty saving the guy!) “With all of the medical training to become a neurosurgeon, the procedure consisted of pulling the nails out slowly and hoping there was no internal bleeding.” (Impressive that not only our doctors get medical training, but their procedures get training too!) Question: Can normal people not notice that this is terrible language? It’s more offensive to me than our foulest profanities.
Patrick • News • 05/06/04 • 2 comments
Comments
Dad • 05/10/04 • 11:32 AM:I enjoy dangling modifiers, and Jay Leno has a whole segment of his show (and, as you know, whole books) devoted to poking fun at this kind of mistake (among others). I particularly enjoy imagining how the doctors became “riddled with nails.” Perhaps the EMPs brought the misfiring nail gun with them and it went off while they were trying to clean it?
The old example we used to talk about years ago was, “Throw the cow over the fence some hay.” The farm analogy doesn’t work as well in today’s society, but you get the idea. (If, however, you have been lifting the cow every day since she was a calf, then maybe you could actually do this. This was another puzzler, not unlike Zeno’s paradox, in which it seemed almost plausible that you could build your strength gradually as the cow grew and thus be able to eventually lift the whole cow. When, exactly, would you no longer be able to lift the calf?)
Hopefully, you’ve been able to enjoy my examples. (Hey, that’s another one!)
Dan • 05/10/04 • 5:04 PM:I was able to enjoy your examples, and I did so with a lot of hope! How did you know, dad?
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