Maddenation
The things we can do without
Today, right now, in fact, I am eating a Baby Ruth bar. It came in the mail as a “thank you” for suggesting some books about creative nonfiction to the (checks recycling bin for correct name) University Writing Program. As I eat it, I realize that I haven’t eaten a Baby Ruth bar in many years. Even if my kids get a couple in their Halloween basket, I won’t eat one. I don’t really like Baby Ruths.
And yet somebody out there is buying Baby Ruths. Enough people, one would suppose, that Nestlé keeps making them (since 1921!). I can only surmise that the world needs variety. Otherwise, everybody would just buy the world’s best candy, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, instead. (And Hershey, owner of Reese now, wouldn’t have to make about ten different variations on the Peanut Butter Cup theme (including such ill-conceived products as Inverted Cups (peanut butter on the outside, chocolate inside; but neither the peanut butter nor the chocolate is the same stuff in the real cups) and White Chocolate Cups (which use paraffin wax for the white chocolate).
And—why not write about it here?—there is some pride of uniqueness to be found in cornering a small niche in mass-produced popular foodstuffs. Three examples come to mind about how I am more unique than most people when it comes to fast food. 1) Taco Bell introduced their Gorditas with three styles: Supreme, Baja, and Santa Fe. The Santa Fe had black bean and corn salsa and a hot sauce on it. It was my favorite. I ate it all the time, since the Taco Bell in downtown Athens kept the 99-cent special going for about three years. Then they stopped making the Santa Fe. Why? I don’t really know, but I’m assuming it was because not enough people were buying it (i.e. I’m unique). 2) McDonald’s, attempting to jazz up their breakfast offerings, introduced the McBagel sandwich, which came in several varieties including ham, egg, and cheese; steak and egg; and Spanish omelette, with sausage, pepper-bedecked eggs, and pepper-jack cheese. This last one was the best of the bunch, and whenever I could afford it, that’s what I bought. But of course McDonald’s stopped making it (while they kept the other variations). Why? Again, because I’m so unique. Finally, there’s the panini sandwiches from Fazoli’s. They came in several varieties, some blackened chicken things, some turkey, some ham, and the best one, the Italian Deli, which had pepperoni, capiccola, some other stuff, and marinated vegetables. It was awesome! We used to stop off at Fazoli’s in Maryland on our way driving to and from Mom & Dad’s! Then the unthinkable (yet predictable) happened. They stopped that variety of panini. Why? You know why. My countrymen are too bland, too cookie-cutter for me. I just couldn’t buy enough of them for Fazoli’s to justify the cost.
So anyway, what I’m trying to say is, it’ll probably be another decade before I eat another Baby Ruth. They’re just not that good.
p.s. For some weird reason I have a mixed commercial jingle stuck in my head, probably because the songs were similar. Anyway, I’m stuck with “Baby Ruth and Butterfinger: fresh guaranteed!” At least I think it’s a composite of two different jingles. If you Google baby ruth and butterfinger fresh guaranteed (without quotes) you get on the first page of results a company that will send care packages to Mormon missionaries.
Patrick • Observations • 02/25/05 • 3 comments
Comments
Dad • 02/25/05 • 7:53 PM:On the same theme, Chili’s stopped making the black bean soup mom and I liked so much, What did they keep making? Broccoli cheese soup! The only thing I can imagine that happened is the price of beans went sky high, while someone at Chili’s bought a lot of broccoli from a railroad salvage company.
I don’t agree that peanut butter cups are the best candy. I’m not sure what is, but it’s hard to beat Snickers. By the way, did you hear the news about the great health effects of chocolate?
Dan • 02/26/05 • 10:40 AM:How about the gold iPod mini? Did you like that best, too?
David • 02/26/05 • 6:25 PM:Unique? How about celery and mustard? That’s unique. Hard to argue with Peanut Butter Cups or Snickers (from what I’ve heard, Snickers is the #1 selling candy in the world).
Last night I had some of those yucky inside-out peanut butter cups (leftover from Halloween candy I bought for the kids who didn’t show up). Then I felt sick. Why did I eat them?
If you’ll notice - all of those, “chocolate is good for you” studies (secretly funded by Herseys, Nestle, Dove, etc.) are talking about DARK chocolate. Not regular.
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